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Fathers, Daughters, & Doubts

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Do you know anyone who doesn’t have a somewhat weird relationship with their dad? I certainly don’t. And I count myself as part of that statistic. In my family, my father is multifarious in his priorities and singular in his focus—remaining the constant breadwinner, occasional caretaker, overzealous coach, family timekeeper, and connoisseur of everything from wine (French) and beer (microbrew) to skirt length (knees, duh) and boyfriends (employed, please). The fact that my father is a marathon runner who consistently (and joyfully) gets up at 4:30 AM to consume most of the New York Times and fifty or so pages of The Power Broker (or some equally edifying biography) every day just means the bar for what constitutes success in my family has been generally set sorta high. So that’s my thing. But my dad had his own issues with his father—a writer for Time magazine after World War II, the man’s lifestyle was very Mad Men, to say the least.
 
This, of course, come on the heels of an obvious occasion: Father’s Day, that delightful Hallmark holiday that nonetheless gives us reason to celebrate all the incredible things fathers do for us. And it’s not a coincidence that June marks the release of HOTELS, HOSPITALS, AND JAILS by Anthony Swofford. Coming together, these events give me reason to consider why it is fathers and children generally have a lot of relationship growing pains to get through.
 
I don’t have an answer as to why that is—perhaps I never will. But it is certainly something I will keep considering (read: overthinking) and a theme I tend to seek out (consciously or not) in the books I read. This is one of the reasons I was really (truly) moved (among the plethora of other emotions the book made me feel) by Tony Swofford’s memoir. And I know this seems a bit pluggy, but isn’t that what we’re here for? To make, market, and consume books that make us feel things?
 
The father/son relationship Tony descripts in HOTELS, HOSPITALS, AND JAILS could not be further from the one I share with my own dad, but there are uncanny parallels—questions of following in his footsteps, struggles with the feeling of inadequacy, wondering what type of parent I will make when (and if) the time comes—between his book and my life (and I imagine yours as well). I think this is because Tony’s writing gets at exactly what good art attempts to do—that is, describe and explore the basic human conditions we all struggle with.
 
So yes, read HOTELS, HOSPITALS, AND JAILS. But also check out this great list of books compiled by Kevin Hartnett at The Millions that deal with child and parent relationships. And here I will unapologetically plug Fathers and Sons by Ivan Turgenv and Washington Square by Henry James. They’re both oldies but goodies—sort of like my dad.


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